Yes, you can. But you need to be aware of the possible consequences. Even though the quality of expert evaluations, their approach, and their necessity are often highly questionable, refusing to participate purely on principle is usually not advisable.
The judge considered an expert opinion a good idea – they won’t be pleased if you refuse to cooperate. There can be exceptional reasons for declining, but we generally recommend a different approach: participate well-prepared and, if necessary, collect arguments against the evaluation during the process.
If things go completely wrong, you can end the evaluation at any time — but this should only be done in rare cases.
You are required to “encourage” the child to attend visitation and, if necessary, take “educational measures” to ensure the child goes. However, the degree of encouragement or measures depends on how the professionals involved in your case handle such situations.
In general:
a) The child’s age plays an important role in determining the next steps, and
b) When a child refuses visitation, it is often blamed on the mother. She is accused of manipulating the child or—if that can be ruled out—of unconsciously transferring her negative feelings about the father onto the child, creating a loyalty conflict. That’s one of the experts’ favorite terms.
We strongly advise seeking our guidance before presenting this situation to the professionals involved or starting any court proceedings. It can quickly become a serious issue for both you and your child.
It depends on whether the agreement was made in court or before another authority. A court-approved settlement—meaning an agreement instead of a judgment—cannot be revoked. The case is considered closed once the settlement is reached. An appeal or review in a higher court is not possible; a new proceeding would have to be initiated.
Yes, it’s difficult but possible. There are many factors involved, and in most cases, it takes patience. The situation needs to be carefully analyzed, including when the right time is to act. But yes, in principle, it can be done.
With a certain type of father (usually one who is psychologically or otherwise abusive), these conversations don’t achieve anything. But even if you’re sure of that, you’re allowed to say so. You are required to cooperate. So please do! Go there—but don’t expect a solution; there won’t be one. The parental meetings are only useful for three things:
1. to show the family system your willingness to cooperate,
2. to lose your fear of the man, and
3. to practice the communication techniques you learn with us 😉
We cannot, under any circumstances, advise going public while the proceedings have not been finally concluded. Judges strongly disapprove of that, and you may have to bear the consequences.
Not easy—and it needs to be carefully examined. It requires very thorough preparation and is only possible under certain circumstances. In most cases, however, it isn’t strictly necessary, since joint legal custody generally applies only to very specific major decisions.
Sometimes (depending on the facts) it’s a good idea to request only specific elements of legal custody, namely authority over healthcare and schooling decisions. This effectively limits joint legal custody and can be a good alternative—but it depends on the case.
Before you file, please get in touch with us. It can backfire: once you open the door by filing and thereby initiating proceedings, the father can file a petition of his own. In practice, decisions here are rarely made without an expert evaluation.
There are many pitfalls. Please don’t approach this topic naively.
We see many cases like this. The principle is: “In child-related matters, we only look to the future.” If you start talking about the past, you’ve already lost. The effort we put in is not acknowledged—this has to do with ideology and political intent. Active fatherhood is politically desired—at least after separation, it seems.
To make sure you’re not acting on false assumptions, please seek advice. You need to understand the rules of the family court system so you don’t fall into its traps.
He “plays” the game better! Learn to play it better than he does. This requires strong strategic positioning and a set of effective communication techniques — which you can learn in our webinar.
Yes, sometimes it really feels that way. And there are cases that can only be compared to an “inquisition” — though those are rare. More often, it’s because the mother approaches the situation too emotionally, while the father wins everyone’s sympathy: "The poor dad, he just wants to see his child.”
To avoid falling into this dynamic — or to get out of it if you’re already in it — we recommend strategy coaching. You need to completely reposition yourself and learn to play the game better than the other side! It’s not easy, but it’s doable — and often necessary.
We’ve developed effective strategies for situations like this — they don’t always work, but very often they do. The key is not to engage in arguments or try to defend yourself. You don’t need to expose every single lie. Your target audience isn’t the man — it’s the judge and their associates, and they have no interest in hearing personal disputes.
If you start defending yourself, you’ll fall into the same dynamic — and to them, it just looks like you’re arguing. That’s exactly what you need to avoid.
If this situation applies to you, we recommend our strategy coaching.
It's difficult. Although it’s possible to file a motion for judicial bias, its effectiveness is extremely limited. On the contrary, if such a motion is denied, you’ll likely face a tougher situation afterward — the judge will no longer have you on their “good side.” We only recommend this in very few cases and usually for strategic reasons, for example, to gain more time.
A better approach is to obtain a decision (a ruling) as quickly as possible so that you can then move your case to the higher court.
In especially difficult cases, moving to a different court district may be a solution. Note: this only applies to new filings.
We empower women in high custody and visitation conflicts by providing them with knowledge and skills in a safe environment, enabling them to successfully stand up for their rights and protect their children.
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